The Cult
by Vampires-Rock4eva
Summary: One-shot, set in New Moon. Pages 262-272 in Jacob's point of view. How did Jake feel when he was forced to say good-bye to Bells? Well, read and find out.


**A/N: Okay, this is a one-shot. It popped into my head while flipping through New Moon. A certain part of Chapter 11, The Cult, stood out to me. The part where Jacob is forced to tell Bella good-bye, and I was wondering how difficult it would be to put that in Jacob's point of view. You see I wasn't a big fan of Jacob before Breaking Dawn and that was because I couldn't understand why he kept getting Edward's way. Well, now, I'm glad Bella ended up with Edward and Jacob with Reneesme. So I decided to write pages 262-272 in Jacob's point of view. I'm sorry, for any errors in dialogue. **

**Disclaimer—All dialogue is property of Stephenie Meyer. She also owns Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. **

**_The Cult_**

**_By: VampiresRock4eva_**

I walked with Sam and the pack towards my house. We were going to check on my dad. Then I spotted it. Bella's truck was across from my house, and she was just sitting there immersed in her doodles. I walked up to the truck and tapped on the window.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" I snarled, trying to be harsh.

She stared at me with a blank look on her face, a haze covering her expression. I gripped the window tighter, careful not to break it with my new found strength. I looked at Bella. How I wished to be near her again but it was too dangerous. Much too dangerous, according to Sam. Since the 'transformation' I would have to be in control before continuing any friendships with normal humans. The resentment and hatred towards the Cullen's returned like bile in the back of my throat. This was their entire fault!

"Jacob?" She whispered. A stab of pain shot through me. She looked behind me and saw the pack. A look that could only be described as hatred crossed her beautiful features. Then the hatred vanished to be replaced with hurt and fear.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying to be as calm as I could possibly be as I watched raw emotion after raw emotion pass through her face.

"I want to talk to you," she says in a weak voice. Oh, how I hate to see her upset, or confused. I want to reach out and comfort her, but I hold back temptation.

"Go ahead," I hissed through my teeth, struggling to keep my hands on the window still.

"Alone!" she hisses back and I turn to Sam. He nods his head, his face unperturbed. He calls out, 'Be careful!' in Quileute and turned to walk into my house. The others follow.

"Okay," I was a little relieved to be alone. I felt…normal? I wish things were better, but it was a hopeless situation.

She took a deep breath, and said, "You know what I want to know."

I didn't answer. I just stared at her and she stared back. The silence stretched on.

"Can we walk?" She asked, and then we began to walk.

I didn't say a word. I was trying to think of a way around Sam's orders. How could I not tell Bells?

I picked up my pace, and strode ahead of her easily. I sighed.

"Let's get this over with," I say, in a hard voice. She waited, so I continued.

"It's not what you think. It's not what I thought—I was way off."

"So what is it then?" She asked.

I studied her face, trying to tell her. To imprint, as they had called it. I was angry with myself. I loved Bella! Dammit! I loved her, so why did I not imprint on her?  
"I can't tell you." I finally said, through my clenched teeth.

Her jaw tightened and she spoke through her teeth, also. "I thought that we were friends." She said, her eyes closed briefly.

"We _were." _I said, stressing the past tense.

"But you don't need a friend now?" She asked sourly. "You have Sam. Isn't that nice—you've always looked up to him so much."

I clenched my teeth. "I didn't understand before."

"And now you've seen the light? Hallelujah." She said, sarcastically.

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can." I said, looking over her head, trying to keep the calm façade.

It wasn't as easy as it looked. The red could have easily succumbed me and transformed me.

Dammit, why couldn't life be easy? Why couldn't I be normal? In a normal world, Bella and I would be together. My hands were shaking… I have to calm down before I transform and hurt her.

"Jacob, please." She whispers. "Won't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help." Her voice broke my heart. It sounded so pained.

"No one can help me now." I say bitterly. My voice broke twice.

"What did he do to you?" She demanded. I saw tears gleaming in hurt eyes and she stepped forward, arms held out. I put my hands up defensively.

"Don't touch me," I whispered.

"Is Sam catching?" She asked, quietly, a fear tears slipping out. She quickly 'hid' them, and crossed her arms.

"Stop blaming Sam." The words came out like a reflex. I had told myself that so many times lately.

"Then who do I blame?" She asked making me half smile, half grimace.

"You don't want to hear that."

"The hell I don't. I want to know, and I want to know now."

"You're wrong."

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong—I'm not the one who got brain washed! Tell me whose fault this all is, if not your precious Sam!"

Her comments hit home. Hard. Especially since all of this was those reeking bloodsuckers fault! And still, she loved them! That stung the most.

"You asked for it." I growled, still trying to stay calm, but not quite succeeding anymore. "If you want someone to blame, why don't you point a finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers you love so much?" I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs, or at least punching something.

Her mouth fell open and her breath whooshed out. I felt my heart tear a tiny bit more, but I had told her, right? That's what she wanted.

"I told you that you didn't want to hear it."

"I don't understand. Who do you mean?" She whispered. I raised my eyebrow; how could she be denying what she knew to be true?

"I think you know exactly who I mean. You're not going to make me say it, are you? I don't like hurting you."

"I don't understand who you mean." She repeated.

"The Cullen's" I said, slowly, watching her face as I said it. "I saw that. I can see it in your eyes, what it does to you when I say their name."

She shook her head. I just stood there waiting. A million thoughts running through my head, still trying to keep calm and not transform.

"Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now." She said.

"He knows more than I gave him credit for."

"Be serious, Jacob."

I just stared at her.

"Superstitions aside. I still don't see what you're accusing the...Cullen's of. They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"Sam isn't doing anything, Bella." And I know they're gone. But sometimes things get set in motion, and then it's too late."

"What's set in motion? What's too late? What are you blaming them for?" Her voice was so accusational that I was suddenly in her face. My anger shaking me.

"For existing," I hissed.

She shook her head, "you're being ridiculous."

"Fine, I answered. "I won't argue with you. It doesn't matter anymore, the damage is already done."

"What damage?" She shrieked at me.

"Let's head back. There's nothing more to say." I said, trying to get back to the house before I transformed, and hurt her. Even the mere thought of Bella being hurt made me queasy.

"I ran into Quil today!" she yelled to me.

I stopped but I didn't turn.

"You remember your friend, Quil? Yeah, he's terrified."

I turned to face her, "Quil?" I mumbled.

"He's worried about you too. He's freaked out."

I stared past her; desperate for an escape from this hell I called my life.

"He's frightened that he's next." I clutched a tree suddenly feeling sick at the thought.

"He won't be next. It's over now. This shouldn't still be happening. Why? Why?" I mumbled. Then my fist slammed up against the tree that had been supporting me. It snapped in half. I was horrified that could have been Bella if she were any closer!

"I have to get back," I said, stiffly.

"Back to Sam!"

"That's a way of looking at it."

"Wait," she called as we neared the house. I turned to face her, my hands still shaking.

"Go home Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore."

It hurt to say those words. But it hurt even more to see her face begin to crumble. I wanted to rush forward and comfort her. But that's not what I did. I just stood there concentrating on not transforming around her.

"Are you… breaking up with me?" I let out a single, bitter laugh.

"Hardly, if that were the case, I'd say 'let's stay friends. I can't even say that."

The words hurt me, but I had to say it. Besides, it was true.

"Jacob…why?" Sam won't let you have other friends? Please Jake. You promised! I need you!"

Her desperation cut me, like a knife that had just been sharpened.

Her pain made me want to kill the one making her hurt. Too bad that was me. I fought to make my voice hard, cold as if I didn't mean the words I was about to say.

"I'm sorry, Bella," When I wanted to say, 'I love you, Bella.' I just said I'm sorry….I wish she knew. After a moment she began to speak.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't….before…I wish that I could change how I feel about you, Jacob. Maybe….Maybe if you gave me some time…just don't quit on me, Jake. I can't take it." She whispered, agonized.

Her pain sent a new cut through my heart. I felt my face crumble a little. I reached a shaking hand out to her.

"No. Don't think like that, Bella, please. Don't blame yourself; don't think this is your fault. This one's all me. I swear it's not about you."

"It's not you, it's me," she whispered. "There's a new one."

"I mean it, Bella. I'm not…" I struggled to fight my emotions. I struggled to tell her the truth. I struggled to imprint on her, but it just wasn't enough. "I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore, or anything else. I'm not what I was before. I'm not good." I finished, wondering if this was what it was like for that…bloodsucker to say goodbye to her.

"What? What are you saying? You're much better than I am, Jake. You are good! Who told you that you aren't? Sam? It's a vicious lie! Don't let him tell you that, Jacob!"

"No one had to tell me anything. I know what I am." I say, fighting, once again, to keep my emotions in check.

"You're my friend, that's what you are, Jake—don't!"

I had begun to back away from her agonized yells, the ones telling me not to leave her. It felt as if I was fighting gravity, but I keep going.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I mumbled, turned and ran, to my house, to the pack, to Sam.

I went past the whole pack to my backdoor. I went out and transformed; then I began to run. The whole scene replayed in my head, over and over again.

That's when I realized… Vampires and werewolves, alike, never get their happy ending. They're always on the run, trying not to be exposed, or trying, in the Cullen's and my case, not to hurt our loved ones.

With that thought I ran faster, than before, trying to vanish the thought.

**A/N: Please review, and tell me if this sucked. **


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